Singing for a smaller me

All told it was a pretty good week, even if it had its ups and downs. Frankly, I've been feeling a bit emo, and to watch what I write so that I don't include little tidbits like "if anyone even cares" or "yeah, whatever, I don't care". There's the random crying in the morning as I shower for no good reason thing which tends to throw me a bit off. And that whole feeling like the little fat kid picked last in school because no one likes them. Yeah, all brought to you by *that* point in my cycle. Lovely.

I hate that helpless, slave to my emotions feeling. And I'm a really, really, really, really, really, really emotional person. Bet you can guess my eating trigger?? Huh?

I'm starting to get back into the groove of singing again, which, I'll tell you, took several weeks to set back in. Practicing every day is something I had to work back up to, but it takes much the same discipline as working out. Go figure. I have an audition on Saturday, a concert on Sunday, and audition paperwork and phone calls to make over the next five days. Ah, real life, you've come back to bite me in the ass.

Maybe I'll be too busy to feel emo soon, huh?

Anyhow, on to the weigh-in:

This Week's Stats

Starting Weight: 291.6

Previous Weight: 255.0 lbs
Current Weight: 251.2 lbs
Difference: -3.8 lbs

Total Weight Removed: -40.4 lbs!!!!!!!

Oh, excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of my awesomeness. What was that? Oh, yeah, I've removed forty freaking pounds. My happy dance, let me show it you.

If that isn't cool enough, it also means that the hubby and I are going to go see Wicked as my forty pound Goal Reward!!!

And as the cherry on top, I get to say good-bye to the Second Twenty Pounds and hello to the Third Twenty Pounds. That's right, I'm now on my way to losing 60 lbs. Wow.

Finally, I challenged myself to get back into the groove of working out, and - wouldn't you know it - I found my mojo! It was there waiting for me all along, I just needed to get back to basics.

Progress on the Getting My Groove Back Challenge:

Getting My Groove Back Challenge:
March 22 - April 18, 2010: 4 weeks, 3 workouts a week, at least 12 workouts

Week 1 (3/22 - 3/28): 3/3 Total: 3 (W00t!!)

• Monday - Jillian Michaels Thirty Day Shred (Holllaaa!!!)


• Tuesday - Day Off


• Wednesday - Petra Kolber's Bootcamp Boogie and Upper Body Workout


• Thursday - Belly Dance Workout and Lower Body Workout

Week 2 (3/29 - 4/04): 0/3 Total: 0
Week 3 (4/05 - 4/11): 0/3 Total: 0
Week 4 (4/12 - 4/18): 0/3 Total: 0

And I finally tackled the stupid 30 Day Shred. Guess what? Jillian still scares the sh*t out of me.

Guess who isn't working out first thing in the morning anymore? Yep, you guessed it, that's me. I have a hard enough time dragging my butt out of bed at 6:30 in the morning (especially cause it's now DARK at 6:30 in the morning), working out at 5:30 a.m. ain't gonna happen.

Ugh, Daylight Savings Time frustrates me soooooooo much. For two to three weeks a year, your entire schedule is thrown off because the clock "springs" forward or "falls" back. I'll tell you what, I'm tired of it. I'm so ridiculously exhausted, not sleeping well, and can't drag my ass out of bed!!!!! They say it's easier to adjust to the end of DST, but can take up to a freaking month to adjust to the clocks falling back! What part of this is a good thing?

And the whole lack of sleep thing leaves me feeling pretty apathetic to just about everything. I operate on automatic, spend every minute of the day wishing I was in bed and can't dredge up a few drops of excitement to get into the weight loss groove.

Last week at this time, I was feeling pretty good about everything. I was excited and happy. Today, I'm going through the motions. I don't understand it.

Solution: MOAR Sleep. *if* I can get to sleep.

Weekly Check-in
More of an every other week check-in at this point

How do I feel I did the past two weeks?

Last week I felt great and had a decent weight loss. I didn't work out as much as I planned, but felt like sticking to my plan was pretty easy.

This week has just been one foot in front of the other. Been dealing with some emotional issues and an unexpected complication. I'm working out again this week, but don't feel like I'm interested in doing much of anything.


Am I still excited/motivated to lose weight?

Yes and no. I'm dealing with some major apathy here. Part of me is still pretty gung ho, but another part of me wants to lay around in bed and do nothing. However, I found my weight loss journal from the last time I did Weight Watchers (2004!!), and realized I'm just about 15 lbs away from the lowest weight I reached in 2004, and I'm around the same week mark - and my last five weeks were losing and gaining the same 2-3 lbs.


The Beck Diet Solution related questions have been removed this week. My apathy told me to.


What are three things I can give myself credit for? (Okay, okay, this is a Beck question, but my apathy said it was okay to answer this one)

Despite my apathy:

1. I'm still on plan.


2. I'm working out.


3. I know I can do this.


4. BONUS: I'm definitely getting my water in every day even if what I want isn't water.

What, if anything, do I need to change in my routine to succeed?

In order to succeed, I need to keep following my plan. It works. I know it works. My apathy knows it works. I can get through this moment because it is just *one* moment.


Did I accomplish last week's healthy habit/goal? What healthy habit will I practice/goal will I meet in the coming week?

In my last check-in, I said I was planning to do Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred three days a week. It didn't happen. Something happened in my head and suddenly the 30 Day Shred scares me silly. New goal: do the Shred once a week for two weeks. Then mix it up and do four different workout (other than the Shred) this week.