Singing for a smaller me

(Post title shamelessly stolen from a friend's Facebook update this morning - Thanks C!!!)

Mondays, in general, are not my most favorite of days (unless it's the Monday of a three day weekend - in which case, they are awesome). Can't imagine many people who regularly enjoy Mondays, but those who do most likely are retired or are some sort of crazy person - my apologies to those who aren't crazy and like Mondays.

My Monday began pretty spectacularly - she says sarcastically - so I'm gonna take a minute to kvetch:

Had a tough time sleeping last night. The DH needs noise in the background in order to sleep and so we head to sleep with the tv going. Normally, it's a show I've seen roughly a dozen times so I can tune it out, but last night it was Farscape. Infinitely interesting and a ton of episodes I haven't seen. Wound up having to poke him awake to change it. Not so much of a problem. Still plenty of time to sleep.

After the television was changed to something relatively innocuous, I started to drift off when what should I hear but pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, etc. Joy. Some kids were setting off firecrackers. Have I mentioned fireworks/firecrackers can trigger my anxiety? Small doses of firecrackers or scheduled fireworks shows (can you say Disney??) are just dandy, but randomly? In the middle of the night? When I'm trying to sleep? I probably would've been fine if it had been just once, but ooooohhh nooooo, it had to happen four times over the course of an hour - every time just as I was getting my anxiety under control and starting to fall asleep. I was moments away from calling 911 when it stopped.

I finally managed to fall asleep between 1:30 a.m. and 2 a.m. so not so much a happy Zan this morning. In the slightest.

To top it all off, I've got the creeping crud that's just bad enough to annoy me, but not bad enough to lay me up. Oh, and I slept wonky on my shoulder/neck Saturday night which leads to even more unpleasantness. GRRRRR.

Okay, kvetching done.

On to my weekend. One or two things aside, it was a pretty awesome weekend.

My Weekend Fail: there were two goals I set for myself this weekend: 1) Check out Gold's Gym; and 2) Buy new black dress pants for work. Neither of which were completed. Bad Zan. No Cookie.

Because I'm basically a glutton for punishment, I decided to give 24hr Fitness another try. It's great to get on my moral high horse about supporting companies that don't care about their customers, and it's another thing to have to drive ten miles (okay maybe five) to use another gym. Remember, the 24hr Fitness is probably half a mile from my house - it's hard to ignore that kind of convenience, and I know I'd use the distance to the other gym as an excuse.

The buying of the pants? Can't tell you why it was an issue, I mean I did go out shopping on Sunday. Heck, I even found myself in a store selling black dress pants! But for some reason it didn't even cross my mind as something to do.

On the other hand, the rest of Sunday's shopping trip was quite successful and made of much less Zan fail. Items acquired: trekking poles (for hiking), ice cube tray for water bottles (this thing is awesome - long, round ice cubes - perfect size), and most importantly - new bras. I've needed new bras for months, and the DH helpfully gave me a $50 gift certificate to Frederick's for Christmas. Yes, Fredericks! In we went, they measured me, suggested a few, I tried them on, and out I walked with three gorgeous new titslings. Goodbye forever, Lane Bryant bras!!!!

Friday, I mentioned planning a Saturday hike, which, sadly, didn't pan out. I was a little upset, but it was probably for the best. The heavens opened up around 3 p.m. and didn't let up for 24 hours. Getting caught out in the rain would have sucked with this crud that's settled in my sinuses. I took the opportunity, however, to get in a longer workout at the gym: 35 minutes on the elliptical and 15 minutes on the stationary bike.

Besides my bra victory, I enjoyed another fabulous NSV in my calorie counting experiment: the Sunday Brunch buffet. Successfully navigated this mine field, enjoyed myself, got my money's worth, and stayed within the number of calories I established as "acceptable" for both breakfast and lunch. It was a revelation actually, realizing that I was eating both breakfast and lunch in the same meal, and not just a late breakfast. Huh.

Finally, since I promised I'd share this, I went to WW for my official weigh-in on Saturday. Here are the results:

Week of 1/23/11 - 1/29/11 Stats

Weigh-in Day: Saturday, January 29, 2011

Starting Weight: 291.6

Previous Weight: 221.8
Current Weight: 220.0
Difference: -1.8 lbs

Total Weight Removed: -71.6 lbs
Total Percentage of Weight Removed: 24.5%

Interesting to note there's about a two and a half pound difference between my scale at home and the one at WW. I share the higher of the two numbers here (the WW scale) and count that as my official weigh-in.

Okay, I've rambled on long enough and covered waaaayyy too many topics, so I'll sign off for now. Have a great one folks. Oh, and I'll be sharing a great recipe real soon!

Recently, I realized something: very rarely do I admit having a bad week and/or seeing a gain on the scale. And I have them. Oh, how I have them.

Something I used to pride myself on was making it to Weight Watchers meetings every week, good or bad, and faithfully reporting my progress be it gain or loss. I got away from that some time ago and I'm not sure why. All I know is that by ignoring that gain, pretending nothing was wrong and that I was skipping along with flying colors was nothing more than lying to myself. It was a massive disservice that kept me from being successful.

You know when I achieved the best results? When I was able to say, "hey, I gained a pound this week, but that doesn't matter, I'll do better next week."

Obviously it was time for a change, of which you might have noticed me babbling on about earlier this week.

Confession time: the past three weeks have been amazingly crappy weight wise. I went from seeing the lowest number I'd seen on the scale (my home scale) in years: 217 to plateauing to gaining five pounds over the course of those three weeks. All while I claimed to be following the Weight Watchers PointsPlus program. I wasn't. My portions were off, I wasn't tracking every bite (okay, I was eating pieces of chocolate - several a day - and saying hey, I don't have to track this because it's so little it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things!!), and I just didn't want to use an equation to calculate what I could eat anymore.

Hence the switch to calorie counting.

So far, this week has been amazing, and I never realized how freeing and straight forward calorie counting could be. By disengaging myself from the Weight Watchers PointsPlus Formula, I'm making better choices instead of trying to figure out how to trick the formula into letting me stuff as much into my piehole as possible.

I haven't hit my official weigh-in day (Monday) since starting my experiment, but I can tell you after hopping on the scale this morning, I'm already seeing results. Can't wait to share with you.

Here's a promise to myself and everyone else: starting today, I will make a concerted effort to share my progress for good or bad every week.

Moving On . . .

Tonight marks the first real test of my calorie counting plan. It's the end of the work week, so it's time for dinner and drinks out with friends. Yes, I celebrate the end of the work week (And how). But it also means going out to restaurants that don't have calories on the menu (cos they aren't chains), and then heading to the pub wherein I will likely imbibe a tad too much beer.

As a side note, I admit one of the main reasons I lost patience with WW was the massive change in Points for Beer, Wine, Cocktails, etc. Now I'm not a massive lush, but I certainly enjoy a night out with friends (and I am most definitely not a teetotaller). What was once a reasonable number of Points to spend turned into more than half a day's worth (to a day's worth on some nights). What?!? Not okay. Really not okay.

Hope this didn't come off as a WW bashing session. I'll get off the subject now.

Well, it's time for me to turn into a pumpkin (not quite), and go plan a hike for this weekend (if anyone wants to go, especially since I'm planning on a Saturday hike and not a Sunday one since it's threatening to rain). Have a super fabulous weekend!!!

Dear 24 Hr Fitness Jerks:
Dear 24 Hr Fitness Corporate A**holes:
Dear 24 Hr Fitness:

I am appreciative to have a gym located so very close to my home. Seriously, the fact that your gym is less than a five minute drive (yes, drive, because the club is in a pretty sketch area) was a huge selling point, and made me look past the $35/month fee to use the club ($35 for an All Club Sport membership vs. $30 for a one club membership - you do the math).

With the coming of January and the five gazillion New Years Resolutionists, several shortcomings with the club were brought to my attention, most of which I was more than willing to overlook. For instance, the fact that there are usually so many people there that getting on a piece of cardio equipment requires a 10-15 minute wait. Also, that there doesn't seem to be enough equipment to meet customer demand. In the grand scheme of things, though, these problems are miniscule as we head into February.

On the other hand, regularly having broken down equipment is not okay. Over the past several days I have witnessed the following equipment misfunctions/breakdowns:

• Multiple treadmills (at least five of the sixteen) are unable to go into an incline.


• Two treadmills regularly just don't work.


• One of the "newer" ellipticals (of which there are four) has been broken for well over a week.


• The computer on one of the older ellipticals (of which there are three) continually resets and broadcasts that a button is stuck.


• One of the stair climbers has been broken down for approximately a week.


• The stationary bike I used last night was making a god awful thumping sound every time I pedaled (like louder than a room full of people lifting weights), and another stationary bike was completely broken down.


• There are plenty more, but I think you get the picture.

You see, there hasn't been a visit yet this year where I haven't found myself marching up to the front desk to let them know about *another* piece of broken equipment. And I'm a little tired of it.

At this time of year, it's vital that the club is even more on top of its game in order to keep customers happy and coming back. This customer is NOT happy. And I'm not so sure about the coming back part either.

It's been my observation that any 24hr Fitness Club not of the Super Sport variety is relegated to the back burner when it comes to priority. Equipment at Super Sport clubs appears to be new and cutting edge, while gear at Sport Clubs and below is, apparently, castoff, busted to all hell equipment. And take a look at any Super Sport facility - it's inviting and bright and full of everything that is pretty, but other locations are dark and dull. Further, I understand the motivation in charging a higher membership fee for Super Sport clubs, but a difference of thirty dollars a month is excessive.

As one person, I'm relatively insignificant in the grand scheme of things as a 24hr Fitness customer, and I'm unwilling to shell out an additional thirty dollars a month just to feel a little more important and/or "pretty". The only step I can make in response is to no longer support your company. Yes, I'm aware that $35/month is a drop in the bucket, but it's my only recourse. It's true that I'll miss the convenience, yet it's what has to be done.

Thank you for your lack of concern and willingness to fix equipment. It makes me realize your priority is not in serving the community, but in serving your own self interest as a corporation.

No Love, Me

Sorry for the radio silence, but I've been doing the big think since Saturday. Truth is, I had a post all written up and ready to go, but never got around to throwing it up here. There are two reasons for this, both of which will change how I look at things for a while. Don't worry, it's nothing earth shattering, my life hasn't done a complete 180 or anything like that.

First, change number one:

The running? Have to table it. Yeah, yeah, I know, I didn't start all that long ago, but I'd come to really enjoy it, and it made me feel great.

Why, you might ask? My freaking right knee. Lovely. It hurt a little bit on Friday, but I chalked it up to me not being used to running. However, it came back with a vengeance after my Saturday run (not ridiculously bad, but SUPER annoying). During my hike on Sunday, the ouchie was gone (except for on the downhills). Okay, good.

Fast forward to Tuesday night. I'm at the gym and gonna it give it one more go. If it hurt, I decided I the running was going on hold until I lost a little more weight and strengthened my legs. K. Get on the treadmill (which I somehow managed to get onto immediately - unusual, very unusual). Brisk Walk. Good to go. Stretching. Check, check. More walking. w00t. First running interval.... No go. Shit. GAAAAHHHH! First time my knee had hurt when I was running. Bad.

Okay, RICE (Rest Ice Compression Elevation) time. And tabling time. Guess I'll be making friends with the elliptical for the next month or four. Oh well, it is what it is, and I'd rather not strain myself to the point where I CAN'T exercise.

Change Number Two:

Since starting this blog, I've spouted the Tao of Weight Watchers. Seriously. I've been an ardent supporter of the WW program for YEARS.

Enter the PointsPlus program. Okay, I'm up for something new, and - hey - it still says Points, right? I was pretty gung ho going into the new program, but as each week went by, I was a little less thrilled. Guess what? My weight loss followed suit. Greeeeaaat. Not. I really don't know what it is, but something about the PointsPlus program frustrates me. Maybe I really am one of those "but I liked the Points program" people, who knows?

It's time for a change.

With this plateau on the scale and the feeling like I need to do something to shake it up, I'm gonna try something new (to me): Calorie Counting. Yep. This is monumental (for me). Never before have I tried calorie counting. Every weight loss attempt I made in the past was always with Weight Watchers.

"Officially" I started counting calories on Monday and will keep this going through the end of February. I'm not giving up WW (at least, not yet), but I won't be tracking Points.

If you'd like to join me in the calorie counting fun (or just wanna be friends on SP), I'm over at SparkPeople as ZanSidhe.

Okay. Now that that's off my chest I feel a little bit better. Will talk to you soon (and maybe even post that finished entry sitting on my iPhone).

Okay, I sense a little bit of a theme here this week - SUGAR!!!!

The other day, I copped to the fact that I'm a candy-a-holic. Okay, it's not really just candy, it's pretty much sweets of any kind: cookies, cakes, candies, chocolates, all those great "c" words. And a few others. Yeah, I love sugar.

On the other hand, I'm staunchly anti-HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup) and artificial sweetener. I won't get into my reasoning since I don't wanna seem like a crazy woman, but rest assured there are several well worn and used rants that my friends are pretty tired of hearing.

Needless to say, my stance on HFCS and artificial sweeteners makes food shopping so much fun (she says sarcastically). Do you realize how many things have HFCS in them and/or artificial sweeteners?!? Bread. No, really, bread has HFCS in it. WHY???? And try finding a non-fat yogurt without artificial sweeteners!!! Nearly impossible, but I managed to do it.

Allow me to introduce my non-fat, no artificial sweetener, no HFCS little friend:

Trader Joe's Organic Strawberry Probiotic Nonfat Yogurt (it also comes in vanilla, but I'm a fruit flavored kinda girl).

And take a look at this ingredient list:




Oh yeah, baby, organic all the way.

And the best part:




That works out to only 2 Points on WW PointsPlus. W00t! Sooooo tasty, and not that nasty artificially overly sweet taste of other nonfat yogurts (I won't name names but it start with a "yo" and ends with a "lait"). Ick. That evil little container used to be the one concession I'd make in my battle against artificial sweetener, and I felt a little pang of guilt every time I opened one up. But now guilt be gone!!!

Get my sugar fix and it's good for me? Whoda thunk it?

Have a great one folks and I'll talk to you tomorrow (since I already have a post written - ZOMG!!!). And I hope you have a Trader Joe's near you cos this yogurt is - DAYUM - good!

I have a slight problem: Put a piece of candy in front of me, it's gone in fifteen seconds flat. You can probably tell this isn't the kind of candy eating problem where I take a small bite, put it down, take another small bite, put it down, and so forth. Oh, no, no, no, this is the "ZOMG, WANT CANDY, MUST SHOVEL CANDY IN MOUTH BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE CANDY" kind of problem. Really, I'm like a candy eating monster. HULK SMASH IF YOU TAKE AWAY CANDY!!!!

Anyone else get that kind of desparation when confronted with a piece of chocolate?

Yeah, to an extent, my relationship with food used to be that way too: "Oooo, food, must eat before food disappears everywhere." Seriously. I have no idea where or how this attitude about food/candy came from, but at some point in my sick and twisted little world, I started to feel like if I didn't eat it now, it would disappear and I'd never be able to eat it ever, ever again. nOW, Through hard work and a whole lot of crazy effort, that whole food and me eating thing is a lot more manageable. Candy though? That's an entirely different story.

For the longest time, my solution has been to simply avoid eating candy. Entirely. Which takes every ounce of will in my freaking body. Especially with the jar of candy next to my boss' office calling my name every time I walk by it. Hell, I don't have to walk past it to hear it calling out to me, I'm sitting at my desk right now and I hear it. GAHHHH!!!!

This is not a solution that works in the long run. Fact of the matter is, candy is everywhere and I love candy. I need to find a way to approach it so as to enjoy a little and understand (emotionally AND logically) I can always have more later.

And I have no damn clue how to go about doing that. I'm working on it. Really, I am. For the time being, I'm letting myself have one piece of chocolate a day (or more if I have the Points left) because avoiding it wasn't working.

The Sunday Hike

I apologize in advance, I'm terrible about relating stories that happened in the past. This will probably be REALLY boring.

Sunday morning, some friends invited me out on another hike. There I was, laying like a slug on the couch (okay, not laying, but sitting), contemplating dragging my butt out of the house and driving the forty-five minutes to some out of the way Open Space Preserve. Bear in mind, I live in California in the Bay Area, it was sixty some odd degrees this weekend.

Really? Should there be any debate on this matter? The weather was gorgeous and it was a convenient way to get a good hour plus of cardio in. Logic won out, along with the fact that - in that kind of weather - what kind of idiot stays in? So I rushed to pack some snacks, tossed on some comfortable clothes and ran out of the house to make it on time.

Oh my god. So happy I decided to go (And - for all that I thought I'd be late - I was the first one there). There's this view overlooking the Santa Cruz Mountains at the hike's mid-point that's just breathtaking. Definitely a place I'd go again. The picture doesn't do it justice, but here you go:

The Deets:

Location: Long Ridge Open Space Preserve
Distance: 4.5 miles
Total Time: 2 1/2 hours at an easy pace with plenty of breaks to admire nature
Difficulty: Moderately Easy (not a beginner beginner hike, but simple enough)
Calories Burned: Nearly 900?? (Thank you, Bodybugg!)

I'm constantly boggling over the things I can do now, and over how much I missed before. It makes me realize I'm not willing to miss one more day of living. Now, I'm not crying over spilt milk: the past is the past and I can't change who I was, but I can change who I am and who I will be.

My apologies, this should have gone up last Friday, then it was Saturday, then I forgot all about it. GAH! But here ya go anyway! And, no, this isn't my post for today. I'll be back a little later.

Ooo boy, it's been one of those weeks. Felt like the week of never-ending cr*p, but I'm happy to report I somehow managed to make it through despite Aunt Flo, work stress, and the emotional blahs. BRING ON THE WEEKEND! I think I'm ready to have me a couple of beers, relax with friends and take a load off.

This week could have been a whole helluva lot better emotionally (emo Zan is emo), but - hey - I was spot on when it came to being on plan. That's promising. If I can make it through one of those kinds of weeks, imagine what'll happen over a GOOD week (probably disaster cause it won't be the only darn thing I can control!).

What's on tap for the next few days? Not a whole heck of a lot. W00t!

Anywho . . .

Had a nasty shock this (Friday) morning when I went to track breakfast on the WW iPhone app and it wouldn't launch. Seriously, how the heck am I supposed to track every freaking bite I put in my mouth if I can't get into my rashafrashafracking tracker?!?!?!?!?!

Okay, calm down. Restart the program. Same problem. Uninstall and reinstall. Grr. Go to WW and search the message boards. Umm, hello? Am I the only one having this problem?!? No other posts about it. Must be crazy. Restart program *pull hair out*. Roar. Restart phone. GAAAAHHHH! Okay, time to post on the message board. Dear WW, stop making your app suck. No Love, ME. Actually, it was more along the lines of: AM I THE ONLY ONE HAVING THIS PROBLEM?!?!?! Okay, I'm not. Good. Not crazy Zan. Half hour later: fixed. Meh.

After the week I had, it was just one more thing going wrong I didn't want to deal with. But at least I'm not crazy. Well, not totally. HAHA.

Coming up tomorrow: Week One, Day Three of the C25K, WW Meeting.

My Bravos for the Week:

1. Made it through the week.


2. Tracked every day!!!


3. Exercised six days!!! I earned something like 51 Activity Points this week (9 over the max swappable - WOW!)


4. Completed C25k, Week One, Days One and Two.


5. Kept the water intake up all week.


6. Didn't go postal. XD


7. Blogged Monday through Friday. - k, not so much.

Yep, I'm definitely ready for the weekend. Can't promise you'll hear anything from me Saturday or Sunday, but you'll see me on Monday. Cheers!

My Saturday Addition

Woke up early today in order to head out to the gym and get C25k, Week One, Day Three in the bag before heading out to WW. Imagine the nasty surprise I had finding all the treadmills full!! And not a hint of anyone getting off!! Grr. Imagine not happy Zan face.

Left the gym feeling helpless and seriously upset with the world. Seriously! The drive home was something along the lines of, "now when am I gonna get this done? I suck. People suck. I'm never gonna be a runner!"

The obvious didn't hit me until I was driving up the street to my house: not everyone has a gym membership, and they manage to run ALL THE TIME. Durrr. Pulled into the driveway, busted out the headphones (and C25k app), and hit the pavement.

How the hell was running through my neighborhood an epiphany?!?

Yeah.

So, I put in a good two miles exploring the few blocks surrounding my house. And one of the great things about living in California? Ohmigod, the weather was gorgeous! Thinking I might make this a once a week occurrence.

Alright, I'm spent, Have a great one folks!!

Despite reports to the contrary, I'm still here. Was a busy weekend and a busy day. I'll have a post no later than tomorrow.

Here's a quick recap of what's been keeping me busy:

Running - I finished Week One of the C25k, and started Week Two today.
Had dinner with friends Friday night. Epic Asian goodness. Will share one of my fave WW recipes for General Tso style chicken.
More running.
My BFF got back in town so I had to spend as much time with her as I could.

I'll be back tomorrow!!!

Yeah, I'd say awesome is pretty much one of my favorite words. Any given day, you'll hear me say "AWESOME" ten or fifteen times and chances are, at some point, you'd get pretty tired of hearing it. I regularly stop myself from saying it in Facebook or Twitter replies, but I'm going to subject anyone reading this to my awesome obsession with the word AWESOME.

Alright. I'm done now.

Seriously.

Alright once more: Awesome.

Now I'm done. >.<



Last week (or the week before, I'm not really sure), I mentioned that I got a BlendTec Blender for Christmas. Kirsten of Results Not Typical Girl asked for a review of said blender, and because this thing is so epic (okay I use epic a lot too!) I was more than happy to oblige. So here ya go as promised.

First, confession time: I knew I was getting my super fab awesomely awesome Blendtec Blender for Christmas (I don't think the DH would - out of his own volition and for fear of me flaying him alive - buy me any kind of kitchen gadget without my express approval). Actually, I was with him at Costco when we saw they were being demo'd/on sale (OMG!!! Something's on sale at Costco - say it ain't so!). After trying several of the absolutely delish demo foods, I was pretty well convinced. Going, going, SOLD! Oh happy day, caloo, calay!

Now, the hardest part was waiting until Christmas to start using the freaking thing. Yep, I wrapped it up so I could open it on Christmas Day and squee in front of my family. But knowing that this was waiting for me under the tree meant I planned part of Xmas Day dinner as blender friendly.

Christmas Day finally comes around (FINALLY!), and I get to unwrap it and laugh like mad crazy because I finally get to open it and USE IT. *Happy Dance*

Can't tell you how to set the thing up because the DH - knowing how super squee I was about this thing and knowing I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off prepping dinner - pre-empted me and set it all up. However, it did come with a nifty getting started guide, the blender (obviously!), and a recipe book. The recipe book, it is my precious and the keeper of such wonderful recipes as tortilla soup and banana chocolate soy milkshakes and fondue and - oh god, stop me now, I'm drooling!

None of the recipe book recipes were part of my Xmas dinner (because it was still wrapped when I was buying ingredients!), but I made the Spinach Parmesan dip I rattled on about in my Holiday Break Recap Post. Yummy. Verdict: super easy to use.

Next up: the fabulously, amazing Tortilla Soup. OMG, so tasty. Follow the recipe and directions for shoveling ingredients into the blender and you have Tortilla Soup of WIN. It's important to put ingredients in in the order specified for optimal blender use.

After that: Banana Bread. Yes, this thing made up the batter for banana bread. Hot Damn. Word of Caution: This is a high speed blender. DO NOT leave something like banana bread batter mixing for too long or it will start to cook in the blender. You don't want to spend $$$ on something like this then ruin it by not reading the instructions (well, you'll ruin the pitcher, but you get the picture).

Approaching New Year's Eve, I realized I had a whole mess of vegetables/herbs/etc that were going to go bad if I didn't use them, so I did what any sensible person with an awesome blender would do: looked up recipes and used all that fresh produce up before it went to waste. Made salsa and pesto and cream of broccoli soup. Oooo, baby, I'll never throw out produce again - not when I can make soups and sauces and dips, oh my!

Truthfully, though, I wanted a BlendTec Blender specifically for the purpose of making my Green Monster Smoothies in the morning. My old KitchenAid wasn't cutting it with my daily morning ritual and took forever to blend to the right consistency. Not this baby!! One button push and it's practically perfect in every way!!!

For now, the verdict is EPIC WIN! Of course, I haven't had it for long, but I have a feeling I'm going to love using this thing nearly every freaking day. I'll share further blending results and maybe some super cool and AWESOME recipes.


In other news, I finished C25K, Week One, Day Two today at the gym at work today (which is deserted at 7am. SCORE!). Feeling quite optimistic about my progress: went just a bit further than Day One, managed a steadier pace, and I feel like my endurance has increased. Really looking forward to Day Three - am I crazy?

Okay, I'll leave you on that note. See ya!

There's a red velvet cake in the break room, work has been stressful, Aunt Flo's in town a few days early, and I'm in the dumps. These things are not a good combination.

And do you wanna know what I'm freaking eating instead of cake? Salad. I'm eating a damned salad. Oh, and an apple. Even though I'd rather cut off a massive chunk of that cake and shovel it down my gullet. But I'm Not. Heck, I even considered taking a teeny-tiny sliver of that cake and shoving *that* down my piehole, but the mood I'm in? Not a good idea.

Yeah, the past couple days haven't been particularly great in the Land o' Zan. It's been an emotional roller coaster ranging from irrational sadness to super happy to Eeyore glum to complete disconnect. None of which are particularly healthy, but this too shall pass.

When I get into these kind of places, the only solution is to rely entirely on WW and give a hearty "F*CK YOU" to everything else. And lemme tell you, my inner dialogue is raging right now, saying god awful things like "you'll never lose this weight, so just have a piece of cake already", "no one cares how far you've come, you'll always be fat", "you'll be stuck at this weight forever so you may as well enjoy yourself" and more.

Yeah, learning to silence and/or ignore those voices is a b*tch. And ignoring them in an emotionally vulnerable state (like now)? Totally crap-tastic. But never fear, WW auto-pilot is here. I've been following WW long enough to know I can make it through these kind of days/weeks/months and keep on going. And it's a comfort to know I can throw myself into a workout to disconnect from that out of control feeling if only for a little while.

Okay, I can deal with an Eeyore kind of day. They happen. They've happened. They'll happen again.

Image from Pooh Clipart

Running. It's the white elephant in the room whenever you talk about working out, and for the longest time, I've babbled on and on about wanting to be a runner and my admiration for runners and running. Until now it was all talk. Some time back, I realized all it was ever going to be was talk if I didn't do something about it, and in typical Zan fashion threw myself head first into researching how to get started running.

Nope, it wasn't enough for me to throw on an old pair of shoes and hit the pavement.

If you've done any research, or have eyes, you'll know it's ridiculously easy to hurt yourself when running/jogging/living(?), so taking a few minutes to crack open a book or do an internet search is a pretty damned good idea. For instance, I've long noticed that my feet roll out (heck, if you look at the bottom of my shoes, you'll see that), and throwing on any old pair of sneakers would likely have been a really, really, really bad idea. Then there's the HOW in How to Start Running which is by no means as simple as hop on the treadmill and go. If you're like me, and have never run a freaking day in your life, you need to take it really slow. In my case, that would be the C25K program, or the Couch Potato to Running a 5K Program.

Okay, research in hand (that's not all of it, but most people out there aren't idiots - they can find this information themselves), the next step was procuring said running gear. Sturdy Sports Bra: Check. Workout Clothes: Check. Running Shoes: Uhhhh.... And this is where our heroine got stuck because I couldn't/wouldn't get off my ass to go and buy a pair of running shoes. The inner monologue went something like this (in my best whining voice): "But running shoes are 'spensive and I don't know where to go to BUY running shoes" and "going to a sporting good store is SCARY" and "I'm too big to go buy running shoes at a sports store, they'll laugh at me" and so on and so forth.

Eventually, I got tired of the excuses. Something finally clicked, I couldn't tell you what, and last Friday I took my lazy butt to the Sports Basement and bought myself these beauties:

My first pair of running shoes: Mizuno Wave Rider 13s. Price-y but pretty and they felt good on my feet. Woohoo!

And you'll never guess what I did today. Okay, you probably guessed since I'm babbling on about running, but I'm gonna pretend you didn't guess. I ran. Okay, I jogged. And walked. Then jogged again. Then walked some more, and made my way through Week One, Day One of the C25K. I'm pretty stoked and super excited to keep on going. I'll update my running progress the next time I run.

And for those of you who are scared of running like me, but want to do it, I'll leave you with a few links:

About.com's Running Page - Lots of resources for beginning runners. Check it out.
Couch to 5K - Not the original program, but another great resource including a link to the guys that started the craziness.

Have a great one folks!

Mondays are not my best of days. Okay, I'm a right gumpy b*tch come Monday morning: slow to wake up, wishing it was Saturday again, and dragging in general. Then there's that whole motivation thing which isn't at a high point. Oh, did I mention the generous measure of guilt over not following my plan as well as I could over the weekend? Yeah, that's Monday wrapped up in a nutshell.

As it goes by weekends, this one was pretty unusual. See, I'm usually not the best about sticking to my "on plan" guns any given Saturday-Sunday period, but *this* weekend I worked out both days, managed to drink enough water (and a little too much beer - HAHA!), and stayed pretty close to my DPT (Daily Points Target). Weird, man, seriously weird.

Funny then, I should still feel that inevitable weekend guilt upon waking up this morning. WTF?!? Is it spillover from other weekends when I seriously screwed the pooch? Do I just need to feel guilty about something? Because there's plenty of other good sh*t to feel bad about.

Eh, Whatever.

Somehow, I need to make Mondays more productive and less grumpy/guilt-ridden, whether it's waking up early enough to work out or just getting back into my Meatless Monday habit (yeah, that stopped a while back - did I mention?). Maybe doing both? I dunno, but something's gotta give.

And, speaking of being productive, I need to get my butt back on my Countdown to ONEderland Challenge. Wondering if I ought not have a specific "Goal Date", and just update every week until I hit that magical 1XX number. Might be more of an incentive to keep posting about it.

Things to think about.

Anyhow, Saturday morning I woke up early enough that I decided to head out to the southside of San Jose and go visit my old WW leader at her 10:30 a.m. meeting. Wow, I've missed her A LOT. A LOT A LOT. Like so much a lot that I decided it's worth waking up that early every Saturday just to attend her meetings because my Monday night leader SUCKS. Well, she sucks in comparison. Only thing is it's a HUGE meeting. Seriously, I've never attended a meeting that had 50+ people in attendance. Yes, it's the New Year, but they meet in a ridiculously large room that leads me to believe - even without the New Year Resolutionists - that meetings stay large year round. Dunno how I feel about being just one of so many, but I think it'll be worth it.

And since we're talking about WW, and I've gotten out of the habit, here's this week's Weigh-In Stats:

Week of 1/3/11 - 1/9/11 Stats

Weigh-in Day: Saturday, January 8, 2011

Starting Weight: 291.6

Previous Weight: 225.8
Current Weight: 222.4
Difference: -3.4 lbs

Total Weight Removed: -69.2 lbs
Total Percentage of Weight Removed: 23.7%

And coming up in the next day or so: Countdown to ONEderland Challenge Update and my long-awaited I'm gonna get myself running post.

Hope your Monday is going well.

I, like a million other people, am not really big on the whole New Year's Resolution thing. That's likely because I find myself saying "this is the year I'm gonna set myself up for failure by making some entirely unrealistic goal, but since I'm so optimistic and ready to go because it's a "New Year", I'm the one that's gonna succeed and be different than 99% of the world's population." Ha ha ha. Sure.

Oooo, sarcasm, I has it.

If you couldn't tell, yeah, I've failed at nearly EVERY SINGLE RESOLUTION I'VE EVAR MADE. The fact is, the expected nature of making one's self commit to some half-assed aspiration because everyone else around you is doing it is ridiculous. You're a lot more likely to succeed at something if you come to realizing that goal on your own time. Still, having been asked five bazillion times what my New Year's Resolution for 2011 is, I came up with this: my New Year's Resolution is to continue down the path to health and be the best person I can be.

Yep, that's it. Short and sweet and simple. And, ooooo boy, people get frustrated with me. "Don't you wanna lose the rest of that weight this year?" "Why don't you set up something specific?" "That's a write off if ever I heard one."

You know what I say to those people? KISS MY ASS. This isn't about making anyone but myself happy. And what makes me happy? Keeping on keeping on the way I've been going for the last thirteen - fourteen months. Sure, it's not coming off super fast, but it's coming off, and it will keep coming off until I reach goal. What I want is to be healthy. End. Of. Story.

With the whole resolution-ing thing out of the way, I decided to set a few health related goals for the year in order to help me meet said resolution of continuing this healthiness journey and being the best Zan I can be:

1. Train for/run a 5K. When/If I complete that 5K, start training for a 10K.


2. Exercise at least 3x a week.


3. Make an effort to meet the WW Healthy Guidelines every day.


4. Post at least one blog a week. See the Wordpress Challenge to post either Once a Day in 2011 or Once a Week in 2011.


5. Try one new exercise class/DVD/etc per month.


6. Make it into ONEderland.

You may have noticed there's only one "weight" related goal in that list. Yep, and it's going to stay that way. I will not stick a date on something so variable as weight loss.

I realized it's been too long since I've posted any progress pictures and should probably remedy that. Once I get the pics from Xmas and the Holiday Break sorted, I will fix that.

For the time being, I give you a hastily snapped bathroom pic:



Have a great one folks.

or Learning to Trust Myself

First: sometimes I don't know why I say certain things, like I'll blog over my Holiday Break. Yeah, not so much. The only time I sat down at the computer for any appreciable period was to play Star Trek Online (haha - yes, I'm a Trek geek too - surprise!). No updates on my Countdown to ONEderland challenge either, which I promised myself I'd do even if it was the only thing I posted over the winter break. Ah well, it is what it is.

One would think having eleven days off from work means I'd have plenty of time off to do everything I wanted/needed to get done. Somehow, though, that wasn't the case (maybe if I was a slightly better planner??), and I found myself even busier than normal. How the heck did I manage that? It wasn't like I was working.

Okay, so I slept in every day.

And I played video games.

And I went to/watched several hockey games.

But my parents were in town for a week and I had to cram in as much possible time with them as I could since I don't see them very often.

And I hosted Xmas day (including brunch, presents AND dinner).

And we hosted a New Year's Eve party.

And I got crazy sick right after my parents headed home.

Alright, that's how someone manages to have eleven days off and not feel like they've had a break.

Confession time: What things didn't I do while off on my holiday break? 1) Step on the scale; 2) log my food; or 3) exercise all that much. I won't make excuses, I blew it off because I could. Yes, I ate chocolate bars, drank too much, and had an all around too damn good of a time.

I was prepared (and frightened), when I finally stepped on the scale yesterday morning, to see a gain of 4 or 5 pounds. Hell, I expected it. What didn't I expect? To see that despite all the excess, the not logging my food, the not stepping on the scale, and the not exercising, I somehow managed to lose half a pound. WHAT?!?!?!

The lesson I learned? I can trust myself to have a good time, still make good choices, and get back on plan.

As promised, here's the menu from the Xmas Dinner I hosted. It turned out really well, and no one realized that most of the recipes came from the Weight Watchers website.

The Xmas Dinner Menu:

Appetizers:

Shrimp with Cocktail Sauce

Spinach-Parmesan Dip - PointsPlus Value: 1 Point

8 Servings - I specifically chose this recipe in order to try out my new blender (the DH bought me a BlendTec consumer blender for Xmas, ZOMG!!!), and wow, was this good. It was very similar to pesto in texture and taste, and ohmigod, so good, if a little on the thicker side. And 8 servings? Oh yeah, that was like 1/4 cup servings. My tsp - tbsp servings? 32+ servings!!! Crazy, man, crazy.

French Bread (to go with the dip obviously)

Salad:

Spinach Salad with Pears, Almonds and Cranberries - PointsPlus Value: 6 Points (3 Points when made as 8 servings)

4 Servings - Mmmm, tasty. This recipe made 4 very large servings of spinach salad, and boy, was I glad I only made the recipe once over. Initially, I'd planned to double the recipe and serve everyone the recommended serving size. The whole recipe wound up feeding 8 people with at least one (full) serving left over. Glad I remembered that WW recipes are usually dinner sized salads.

Main Meal:

Ham from Costco. I'll admit when it comes to cooking, if I can buy it premade, I'm gonna. Less to worry about. Just heat and serve. There was even a glaze included with the ham, but it would've required me to pay too much attention during the cooking process, changing oven temperatures and reapplying glaze. Too much work for me. Still, it was very good, though, even without the glaze.

Stuffing with Sage and Chives - PointsPlus Value: 3 Points

8 servings - I loved making this because it was so wonderfully fragrant. In the future, I would probably add a half cup or cup more chicken broth in the making because it turned out a little dry. Verdict: really tasty, but - like I said - a little on the dry side.

Green Beans with Caramelized Shallots and Gremolata - PointsPlus Value: 1 Point

8 Servings - I'm a huge fan of the green bean, especially fresh green beans, and this was phenomenal. The flavors weren't hidden by the shallots and gremolata, and it was even better reheated a few days later.

Mashed Potatoes with Garlic - PointsPlus Value: 4 Points

8 Servings - Meh. They were mashed potatoes, nothing all that special, and as I think about it - tasted the most like "diet" food. In the future, I'd probably just make plain, old, boring mashed potatoes and huck this recipe in the bin.

Dessert:

Cookies from my cookie baking craziness the days before

Some ridiculously sinful confection of chocolate cake topped with brownies and fudge from Safeway.

I can't tell you how proud I am that I made it through Xmas day (assisted in part by much, too much, wine), and with the fact that I managed to cook and serve an ENTIRE dinner that people enjoyed. Believe me, there were times I thought I wouldn't make it (hence the wine), or tear my hair out (MORE wine!), but in the end I made the correct amount of food and chose some delicious recipes.

Well, I'll sign off for now, but you'll hear more from me soon!