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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

It's an Eeyore Kind of Day




There's a red velvet cake in the break room, work has been stressful, Aunt Flo's in town a few days early, and I'm in the dumps. These things are not a good combination.

And do you wanna know what I'm freaking eating instead of cake? Salad. I'm eating a damned salad. Oh, and an apple. Even though I'd rather cut off a massive chunk of that cake and shovel it down my gullet. But I'm Not. Heck, I even considered taking a teeny-tiny sliver of that cake and shoving *that* down my piehole, but the mood I'm in? Not a good idea.

Yeah, the past couple days haven't been particularly great in the Land o' Zan. It's been an emotional roller coaster ranging from irrational sadness to super happy to Eeyore glum to complete disconnect. None of which are particularly healthy, but this too shall pass.

When I get into these kind of places, the only solution is to rely entirely on WW and give a hearty "F*CK YOU" to everything else. And lemme tell you, my inner dialogue is raging right now, saying god awful things like "you'll never lose this weight, so just have a piece of cake already", "no one cares how far you've come, you'll always be fat", "you'll be stuck at this weight forever so you may as well enjoy yourself" and more.

Yeah, learning to silence and/or ignore those voices is a b*tch. And ignoring them in an emotionally vulnerable state (like now)? Totally crap-tastic. But never fear, WW auto-pilot is here. I've been following WW long enough to know I can make it through these kind of days/weeks/months and keep on going. And it's a comfort to know I can throw myself into a workout to disconnect from that out of control feeling if only for a little while.

Okay, I can deal with an Eeyore kind of day. They happen. They've happened. They'll happen again.

Image from Pooh Clipart

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Small goals are the key to success or so I've been told. To kick off my weight loss journey I wanted to give myself a visual tool to see how my progress is going. For your viewing pleasure, the ticker for my first goal of losing 20 pounds: