Singing for a smaller me

I spent the past week so focused on hitting that 30 lb goal that I didn't prepare myself for the crash that would follow. Hitting a milestone is great, as is intense focus on a goal, but not looking forward and prepping for the following week is foolish.

I've been hungry. Ridiculously hungry. I'm not eating any differently than I was, but I feel deprived. There's this overwhelming panic running through my brain that I might never get to eat something again.

I'm making good choices, but eating crap afterwards.

It started Thursday night after the potluck at work. I'm blaming that damned cake. I didn't plan on eating it, and should have stuck to my guns, but it looked so good. I figured a small slice wouldn't hurt, then I only ate half of it. Should have been the end of the story.

Thursday night, I should have made dinner, but couldn't find the motivation. Hubby offered to order pizza. It was such an easy way out of cooking! Instead of telling him to order my veggie personal sized pizza, I was saying order me the small. Once I was home and the pizza was there, I couldn't keep myself to the planned three pieces. First it was a fourth piece of pizza, then sweethearts, finally a slice of the hubby's pepperoni, sausage and black olive pizza.

Yesterday, my boss gave us these little valentines day cups filled with hershey's kisses and m & m's. I know what I should have done: said thank you, taken the card, and tossed the rest in the garbage, or poured water over it. Instead, I ate three kisses. Then all I could think of was chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!!!!

During dinner out with friends last night I ate my meal, saw the fruit plate someone else ordered, said "oh, I'll order that for dessert". Which I did. And plowed through. Then I ordered the red velvet cake. And planned to eat half of it. Then ate all of that.

The past two days have been an exercise in giving in to cravings.

Fortunately, I saw the pattern this morning and cut it off at the knees. Despite wanting a quick chocolate fix for breakfast, I went back to my trusty Fiber One bar.

After a good workout tonight, I'm back on track and ready to face the world. So glad I caught myself as I fell.