Singing for a smaller me

The past week has been an emotional roller coaster. Finding out about my mom and realizing I can't do anything to help her but be a shoulder to cry on left me in a state of complete helplessness. I've been fighting excuse after excuse to keep myself on track. The "I can't lose weight" or "I'm never going to succeed" thoughts keep popping into my head, and it's a battle to not let them win out.

Still, I'm sticking to my plan, not allowing emotional responses to get the better of me, and I can say I'm proud of myself.

Over at The Chubby Girl Diaries, Kellie brought up the whole idea of Check-in conversations several weeks ago. A friend of hers in the past said the secret to their business success was checking in with themselves. A pretty simple idea and logical at that, yet not something I've ever thought to do with myself. It seems a good way to gauge progress and identify problems while they're still small problems, and not big, honking, crazy, ohmigod I need to eat a whole pizza and a big mac and a chocolate cake and cookies problems.

So, here we go, starting today, I'm putting it out here for everyone to see:

How do I feel I did this week?

I really feel like I've spent the entire week phoning it in, committed to weight loss in a sort of vague manner, and following my plan robotically.

Friday afternoon, I let anxiety get the best of me. My stomach went to Hell and I allowed the "I'm feel crappy" mood to color everything I did all weekend. Sunday was spent on the couch watching TV. All I could think "I should get up and workout", but I didn't.

I'm not happy with myself or the bad habits I settled into over the weekend, and my stomach still hasn't recovered.

Am I still excited/motivated to lose weight?

I find little motivators everywhere, but there's this part of my brain that's intent on being down and dreary. I'm realizing I've hit that point where it's not excitement or motivation that's going to be the impetus for me losing weight. It's a day by day battle to remember why losing weight is so important.

Is anything in my routine not working?

Working out in the morning is not working at all. It was great when I started because it really set the stage for me to commit to a workout routine. I'd wake up, get my workout in right away and feel refreshed. Recently, the snooze button has been too tempting and I've been sleeping in later and later, then rushing through my morning routine, and barely making it into work on time. I've had to force myself numerous times over the past few weeks to work out immediately after work because I just didn't have enough time in the morning.

What, if anything, do I need to change in my routine to succeed?

First, I need to schedule my workout for sometime other than mornings. I can't keep doing the rushing thing in the morning.

Second, I have to take it day by day, maintain my good habits, and find what little motivations I can.

What healthy habit will I practice this week?

Exercising 4 days this week for at least 45 minutes.

Okay, folks, I think I'm ready to face the rest of the week. Good luck to all of you.