Singing for a smaller me

Over the past couple of years I've been one of those people that avoided cameras like the plague. I didn't want people to take pictures of me, period, end of story. Part of it was reaction to my mom's penchant for picture-taking (growing up we joked you developed "insta-smile" in our house), and part of it was not wanting to face reality. The reality that I was morbidly obese.

Whenever I looked in a mirror, it was from the shoulders up, and if anyone *was* going to take my picture I insisted on no full-length shots. I'd jut my chin out to hide the double chin, cock my head to the side, turn my head down just a little bit, suck in my cheeks and smile. The few times people did get full-lengths of me, I refused to look at them, or they just wouldn't show me. Great way to get an accurate picture, huh?

Leave it to my mom and her picture-taking penchant to finally bring me to terms with the truth. And I couldn't be more grateful to her.

Let's set the scene. It's the first family event we're hosting at our home, it's Easter Day, we had the egg hunt earlier in our back yard and everyone showed up an hour early (Grrr). I had a singing gig a few hours after the egg hunt and only had an hour or so to prep dinner before everyone showed up again. Again, people came back early. Surprise!!! So, a frazzled me isn't quite finished with the appetizers and the salad is not ready.

Okay, here I am, holding a fennel bulb for the salad, not paying any attention and my mom snapped this gem (Please join me in a collective groan):

Eeeeeek. Now, I know it wouldn't be a great picture of anyone, but when I finally got the guts to look at it I nearly collapsed in shock.

WHAT? How the heck had I let myself get that big?!?! All of this time, I thought I looked pretty good, but was really just lying to myself.

It became clear that I had to do something. There was no denying what that picture showed me and over several months I started and stopped programs in what I'm now calling my "preparation phase".

I didn't weigh myself until several months later, but am pretty sure I was over 300 lbs.

And for your viewing pleasure, two more "before" pictures:









Today, I have to thank my mom for her picture-taking penchant. If it wasn't for her, it might have taken me a lot longer to come to that moment.